It Isnt Fair
No, it isnt fair.
I might not be the perfect daughter, or girlfriend, or student. I might not be the perfect person. But it still isnt fair.
I know i can be hard to deal with. I know i can be high-maintenance. I also know that i can be whinny, mopey, bi-polared, loud, uncouth (at times), demanding, bad-tempered, needy, weird and a whole lot of other shit.
But then again, who doesnt have certain/some bad points about themselves ? We all have undesirable points about ourselves.
No one is perfect Cliche but true.
And we
all make mistakes. Ive made mistakes. Ive done some stuff i wish i never did. Ive broken hearts, ive lied, ive stolen, ive been under arrest, ive gotten into fights, ive hurt loads of people with my words/actions and/or making them cry.. ive even made my mother cry (dont throw rotten eggs at me, please!). Yes, i can be a nightmare sometimes.
HOWEVER, the thing is that i am
not that cold and unfeeling and so devoid of humanity and emotions that i feel no regret nor remorse for my wrong-doings. Neither do i choose to be a bitch.
No. Id very much rather feel guilty when i spoil the pair of shoes i borrowed from my sister and feel bad for coming home late and making my parents worry. Id also rather forgive
the people who have betrayed/backstab-ed me in the past
instead of creating sinister plots for revenge and i hope that my parents and whoever i might have offended/hurt in anyway are able to forgive me.
And i feel that if youre capable of feeling remorse and guilt and other similar emotions and able to forgive and seek forgiveness etc, youre alright in general.
Afterall,
To err is to be human Is it not ?
Which is why i feel that i can safely say that
i am a good person in general. Yes. I can honestly say that beneath all the layers of crap, that everyone else also has, im a good person. My heart
isnt "black" (Ahh, what goffik-ness)
And i can say all that
WITHOUT lying to myself.
Which is also why i feel that i dont deserve this.
No, i most definately DO NOT deserve all this shit at all.
I deserve to be happy.
So heres a very nice and big,
FUCK YOU _|_
to (you know who you are)
XoXo
